Regarding your recent letters on school reports (Letters, 28 April), during my time teaching in a comprehensive school in the 1980s, a colleague submitted a report on a pupil that included the observation: “Wayne is at his best when he is absent, which is not often enough.” His comment was filtered out by a senior member of staff, but was often recalled in the staffroom.
John Cockell
Congleton, Cheshire

A former colleague had written a one-word report on a pupil – “Idle”. The headmaster said that this was not enough and he must write more. He did so by inserting the word “Bone”.
Chris du Feu
Dalgety Bay, Fife

Way back in the 1950s, a notoriously caustic teacher at Colchester royal grammar school delighted my parents with the report: “Not as good as he thinks.”
John Pye

“Well given up” was the report of my chemistry teacher in 1960 after an exam in which I was awarded a no doubt generous mark of 14%.
Prof (not of chemistry) Bill Sheils

Geography report circa 1963: “Lack of ability such that he frequently fails to find his way to the lessons.”
Griff Everett
Milford, Derbyshire

My French teacher when I was 13: “Invincibly cheerful in spite of fearful lack of accurate knowledge.” The only laugh I got from Dad on a report.
Judith Butler
Maidstone, Kent

My history teacher’s report at the end of my O-level year: “I have failed to combat Akiva’s determination to fail this subject.”
Akiva Solemani
St Leonards-on-Sea, East Sussex

A school report on my cousin: “We know young boys must have their fling … but we really think he has flung himself far enough.”
Lynn Wiseman
Lewes, East Sussex

I’m proud of my primary sports report. One word: “Sedentary.”
Nick Salmon

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